Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
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meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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