Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
