did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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