How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
