I want to walk on stilts...naked
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
