my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
