I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
