My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
