I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
