the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She's not a foreskin expert like you
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
