i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
