Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
