My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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