So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
