bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize