508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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