yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I could fuck to npr.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
