if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We are all done wearing pants today
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize