Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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