Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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