So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
