this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
