i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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