he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
They have beer where we have blood.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
