I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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