If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
