bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
