I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles