party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO