Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
