Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
