one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
