Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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