I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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