he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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