and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize