plz talk dirty to me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
