I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
