one might say we're banned from that church
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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