just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
