he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
