The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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