she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
