I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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