my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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