pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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