A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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