he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize