the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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