My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
