There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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