that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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