Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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