Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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