my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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