Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
