I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
