If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
